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A Few More Quick Things

Here’s a few things and thoughts I’ve had recently.

• I can’t say enough about 21 Jump Street.  Having never seen the original TV show, I was unsure if it would be any good.  Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum were hilarious and the laughs were big, in a mostly classy way, while still being nice and dirty. Its the funniest movie I’ve seen since The Hangover.
• I don’t know how I feel about this whole Saints bounty program.  On one hand, its football, dudes are going to try and hurt one another.  On the other hand, its really really dirty and a clear sign on unsportsmanlike ethics.  The Saints are my boys but I played baseball growing up and the idea of a pitcher trying to bean me in the head purposely is scary.  Damn you Saints, you were so easy to like when you were seen as Saints.  You’re still my team, but COME ON GUYS!
• So, Collective Soul is going on tour this summer. On this tour, they will be playing the entirety of their album Dosage.  Yeah, its a 37 date tour where they are playing the wrong album.  Collective soul hasn’t released a legitimately good album in about a decade but their self titled 1995 album is clearly the way to go. #fail
• Mad Men’s Don Draper is a terrible terrible person.  Between the infidelity, constant drinking, smoking and light drug use, he’s the personification of American excess.  However, that guy has a swagger, an unparalleled level of confidence, and an attitude of “I get what I want” that most can only aspire to have.  He’s the embodiment of the male ego, and I kinda wish I had a portion of what that character dishes out.  I would be unstoppable at everything!
• Giant Bomb got bought by CBS Interactive.  It hard to not be nervous, but business is business and hopefully they don’t get screwed again.  
• Most people know I don’t like talking about politics, but none of these Republican candidates are worth a damn and its not because they are Republican.  I don’t trust them for three very different reasons.  Romney is too rich to understand the needs of anyone that doesn’t own a Benz, Santorum is a bigot, like a special kind of bigot that is willing to use that bigotry to his advantage and Gingrich might as well be Snidely Whiplash.  Good luck Obama in the upcoming election, but you probably won’t even need it.  
• I would like to formally apologize to all of the gays.  You know I’m cool with you guys, right?  However, I CANNOT stop eating at Chick-Fil-a. I want to, I really do, but its so damn good.  I think I’ll just act really gay anytime I’m in one of their restaurants. Will that suffice? 
• Speaking of Chick-Fil-A, I saw a flyer for a rapper or rap-show.  The details of the show/event aren’t important, let’s just say it was obviously targeted at black people.  The event was sponsored very blatantly by Chick-Fil-A Lemonade.  Does anyone else find that offensive?

Adventures in Sautéing

I’m not a cook, and I really have limited experience turning stuff into edible stuff. Sure, I can brown meat, cook chicken and even grill, but making a meal is pretty new to me.  In fact, prior to today I don’t know if I have ever cut up vegetables. Anyone who know knows anything about cooking is mocking me right now, but I don’t care, this is gonna be fun and if everything goes right I’ll have dinner to eat. 

While shopping, I got a wild hair and thought “Hey, I want to explore cooking beef tips!”  I wasn’t sure what I wanted to make, but a simple facebook question to my friends solved that.  I settled on sautéing the meat with peppers, onions and mushrooms, because that seems like the adult thing to do.  I’ve had similar meals before and sautéing seems easy enough. I could look up how to properly do it…or I could wing it.  Hmm, let’s just wing it, what could possibly go wrong?  Here’s some lazy photos of my ingredients:

Who knew one onion made so many “onions”?  After using what I needed I still had like 4 families worth of onions left.

Sadly I can’t say that “nothing in the meal came from a can”, but that’s how I prefer my fungi, canned, preserved and guaranteed not to kill me.  

Freshly defrosted, my beef was deciding on its own that it was time to turn brown. Easily the most intimidating ingredient, I was concerned with the amount of fat in the meat.  Ribbons of fat are yucky. 

As I started, I was sure I had all the ingredients I wanted.  Luke was in bed, the meat was defrosted, the onion was sliced, the Zune was plugged in and playing cooking friendly tunes, and then I noticed I have no cooking oil.  Now, I could have sworn that every time I looked in that pantry the last 3 years, there has been cooking oil of some type hanging around.  Of course, as soon as I need it, there’s none.  I don’t know much but I do know that when you are cooking in a pan you need some sort of food lubrication.  Let me check the fridge…low fat butter it is!!!  

This image makes the meal look really promising.  The greens are green the beef is supple, and the onions are plentiful…let see how I can screw this up.

I cut up all the ingredients and threw them into the biggest pan I had.  At this point my kitchen smelled great, like the waiter at Chili’s just dropped off the fajitas. I heard one time that cooking in high heat sears in the flavor.  So, I turned it up to 11 9 and let the cooking begin.  Having no point of reference on butter volume, I’m pretty sure I over did it with the make shift cooking oil. At that point I was feeling really good, everything still looked like food and the meat was browning properly. I might just be a natural, we’ll see.

Much to my surprise the onions and bell peppers are evaporating!  Before this is over I’m gonna have raisin like vegetables. This meal went from huge to tiny in a matter of minutes.

Every time I cook something, I never know if I need to cover it.  The diverging ideas of trapping the heat and evaporating the water leave me confused.  Typically I cover everything, because I’m scared of dying.  I never trust myself to cook meat to the proper temperature and meals are usually well-done when done.  Trapping that heat from the top and making sure the meal is bludgeoned with steam and hot death, makes me feel better about not waking up with my intestines in a pile at the foot of my bed.  

Unfortunately, this also means the veggies get over cooked too.  As you can see in the picture they are shrinking to an alarming size.  I could have probably gotten away with twice as many onions and peppers.  Let’s just call it an attempt at “concentrating” the flavor, and removing the excess…matter…and uh…watery fodder.  There we go, now the tiny veggies sound purposeful and almost like necessary collateral damage to a greater cause.  

At this point, the ingredients were slightly searing to the pan, so that’s my cue to remove them from the heat.  Where I learned that cue…I don’t know, but it seems reasonable.  

There it is, the final product, a messy pile of shriveled meat and vegetables.  the Mushrooms almost look like they have been assaulted and the onions can barely be seen…bon appetit. 

Now, I eat.  It doesn’t quite look like what I’ve eaten before, but I’m pretty sure it won’t kill me.  The first few bites I take are of the mushrooms and they are good, really good.  They soaked up the juices from the peppers and onions really well, Good job me!  I move to the veggies and whoa, here’s where the butter comes into play.  Paula Deen would be proud, I could almost feel the juices congealing in my mouth.  Sure they tasted good but they were really heavy.  It was like onions and bell peppers with a side of UFC sleeper hold.  

The meat, oh the meat.  So many things went wrong with the meat.  First I should have probably marinated it in something, or seasoned it someway.  This meat was designed to be used in stews and soups, or literally drowned in flavor.  The meat didn’t really stand up by itself.  Some of the pieces of meat benefited from being slightly burned which added a nice hint of ferocity to the meal, but those same pieces were really tough to bite into. Other pieces of meat were nearly inedible because of the fat content.  This is more of a personal preference, but I don’t like having to surgically remove giant gooey chunks of gross when I’ve trying to enjoy a meal.   I think I just bought the wrong meat for the meal, and then tortured it for too long.  

I still have some of all these ingredients, and I might try this again, but next time I will be changing a few steps, and learning from my assumed mistakes.  Feel free to give me pointers but I’m not gonna look up proper directions…that would take the fun out of it.  

A Few Quick Things

Here’s a few things on my mind.  Its nothing really important or mind blowing, just kind of a stream of thoughts blog.  Let’s see how this goes…  

• I was really impressed by the Giants towards the end of the season and through the playoffs, and I think it started the week after The Saints beat the crap out of them in Week 12.  Congrats to Eli Manning for being able to o-ke-doke his way to a second Super Bowl victory.  
• I really enjoy recording Reality Breached.  Sure, I love the Techpedition Podcast too, but the loose structure of RB and the fact that its my creation makes it really special.   A new episode is coming really soon, I promise.  
• The following albums are totally worth checking out:  Staind (Self-Titled), Patrick Stump - Soul Punk, The Maine - Pioneer, and Butch Walker - The Spade. If you don’t know Butch Walker, I suggest you either grab the Marvelous 3 album (Hey! Album) or his first two solo albums (Left of Self Centered and Letters).  They will change how you view catchy rock music.  
• I feel guilty for liking Mac Miller, because he’s white.  I like rap music, but I don’t love rap music.  Alot of Rap music just gets under my skin.  Especially stuff like Flo-rida, Pitbull, T.I., 50 Cent, Wiz Khalifa, and most of what comes out of the psychopath people know as Lil’ Wayne.  Its not that I don’t like Black rappers, I love Kanye, Jay-Z, B.O.B., Dr. Dre, OutKast, Ludacris, and even that fool Nelly, I just find alot of rapper’s personas just really off putting. I’ve always kinda thought that I’ve given a free pass to Eminem because he’s a white dude.  Sure he has a wealth of great music, but he’s a bit of a novelty act that only has 1-3 tricks up his sleeve.  I can’t tell if I’ve giving Mac Miller this same pass because I haven’t found anything about him that obnoxious or because he’s white.  Blue Slide Park is really good, and I want to tell people I like it, but I don’t want them to assume I only like it because he’s a white dude.  Especially if I can’t tell how much influence his race has on my opinion of him.  
• The current Seattle Seahawks have the ugliest Jersey’s in the history of of the NFL.  
• Who is really excited to see The Phantom Menace in 3D?  What is the target demo for that movie?  Its not great, its only 13 years old, everyone has it on DVD, Star Wars fans don’t really like it, the popularity of 3D is waning, and Lucas film clearly should have started these 3D releases with Episode 4.  Sure, I hate that Luke’s not old enough to appreciate a theatrical re-release of the Star wars films, but unless they edited out 75% of Jar Jar Binks’ parts this release seems uncomfortable at best.  
• That final shot of the Avengers in the trailer during the Super Bowl has me really hyped to see that movie.  Only 87 more days!
• If anyone wants to buy a slightly used Tungsten black and silver men’s wedding band (size 8), I’ve got one.  I’ll part with it for a negotiable $100.  I also have a woman’s ring I need to sell, but I don’t know specifics on it.

I’m sure that’s not all I want to talk about but its getting late and I need to go to bed.  I like doing this, I might do this more often.  

10 Things I Will Do in the New Year

Here’s 10 things I will to do in 2012…

1. Tweet and Blog More Often

I really hate that my time is so stretched that something as simple as Tweeting has become a chore, and Blogging helps me prove to myself that I exist so expect more of it in the year to come. 

2. Replace My Kitchen Floor

It sucks real bad right now…so I’m gonna replace it.  I don’t know how, but I will be learning it…crash course style.

3. Go to a Casino

I’ve never done this one, that’s right I’m almost 29 years old and I’ve never gone to a casino.  This WILL be rectified. 

4. Have a Yard Sale

I’ve got stuff, people have money.  I want their money. 

5. Potty Train Luke

This should be self explanatory, but will Jackie and I divorced, I see this being harder than necessary. 

6. Get a New Car

My car has been great, but its embarrassing.  Its time for an upgrade.  Hopefully my next one will last 220000+ miles too.

7. Start Writing a Screenplay

Yeah I know it sounds cheesy, but I know I can do it.  I’m just being lazy. 

8. Finish The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

I don’t know why, but I’m finding it hard to finish that game in 2011.  2012 has a lot more days left in it, so it will probably be easier to find time. 

9. Make More Friends

If anyone’s interested, I’m not too picky.  If you’re not a jerk and you won’t steal my stuff, you qualify.  Don’t expect me to call you too much, but I’m pretty laid back. It shouldn’t be too hard to pick up a friend or too. 

10. Do More Stuff

I’m in a position now where I can do more stuff, for me.  Whether that’s a concert, a party, karaoke, or a culture fostering activity, I need to do stuff.  Married life is great but it robs you of opportunities to just do new stuff.  I’m gonna fix that.

These aren’t resolutions, because that makes them shallow and boring.  These are more like things that just need to happen.  I’m confident I can do them easily and I’m looking forward to the opportunities in front of me!

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!!!!

15 Quick Music Reviews

I haven’t gushed about some music in a long time.  I’m not used to bottling up my opinions and I think Jackie is tired of hearing them.  Especially opinions about stuff as trivial as whether or not Kid Rock should hang up his wife beater and move on.  

Personally, I wish I was into “cooler” music, but I can’t get into that anti-melodic indie music. Red state rock is so deeply ingrained in my blood that despite knowing that its all just guitar centered pop music, I can’t help but love it.  Here are some quick reviews of recent releases…let me know what you think. 

Red Hot Chili Peppers - I’m With You - It’s clearly not their best work, but considering John Frusciante is gone, I’m With You is better than it really should be. Flea’s bass sounds great throughout.  Side note: “Look Around” is awesome!

3 Doors Down - Time of My Life - After 2 lackluster albums, 3DD has finally released something comparable to their best work, Away From the Sun.  How these guys dodged the feverish hate that Nickelback is experiencing is a miracle.  

Theory of a Deadman - The Truth is… - When an artist is done making art, they create content that is aimed at raking in cash. ToaD has found their supposed cash-cow, gimmicky, paper thin, disposable faux-rock.  Ok boys, get in line behind KISS and Motley Crue. 

Limp Bizkit - Gold Cobra - If the shotgun solo at the end of the song “Shotgun” doesn’t say it, I will. Limp Bizkit may be actively trying to make music everyone hates. If the absurdity of Durst’s lyrical shortcomings on this album are on purpose…he might actually be a genius. 

Blink 182 - Neighborhoods - This album sounds like a sequel to their last album the self-titled 2003 classic.  Unfortunately that’s the opposite of why Blink 182 is so popular.  I like Neighborhoods, but it has a serious lack of dick and fart jokes.  I’m just saying. 

Bush - Sea of Memories - At one time Bush was my favorite band in the universe.  Then, somewhere around 1998 Gavin Rossdale’s writing turned from vague and quirky to confusing and nonsensical. Bringing the Bush name back to release this crap hurts me. 

Foo Fighters - Wasting Light - Always good, the Foos have one of the strongest catalogs of the past 15 years.  Wasting Light is one of their best and “Rope” and “Walk” are two of their best singles ever.  This could be their American Idiot. 

Panic! at the Disco - Vices & Virtues - I really like Pretty Odd, it was a throwback album that sounded like a bizarre Beatles tribute.  Vices & Virtues completely disposes of this sound and returns them to a more radio friendly and unfortunately forgettable place…sigh.

Foster the People - Torches - I still can’t figure out why I like this album.  It silly, low-key, weird, and most of the time I’m not really sure what’s going on both sonically and lyrically. But damn its catchy.  These guys might be onto something.

The Script - Science and Faith - I really really like The Script.  Science and Faith is amazing and I’m sure to be listening to it for years.  The stories in the songs are vivid and real and Daniel O’Donoghue delivers them beautifully.  I know this review isn’t funny, and hopefully that gets my point across.

Disturbed - Asylum - Like most metal in the past 2 years, Asylum is boring. This combined with weak releases by Godsmack, Korn, Stone Sour, and Atreyu, the future looks grim.  Even Avenged Sevenfold, and Bullet for My Valentine’s last albums weren’t amazing. 

10 Years - Feeding the Wolves - Finally! Finally, 10 Years has a album that puts them on par with their counterparts (Breaking Benjamin, Chevelle, Three Days Grace, Seether, etc.) If I were to define my favorite type of music, the sound on this album would be it. 

Incubus - If Not Now, When - There are no bad Incubus albums, but now there is an incredibly slow one.  I like it, but its hard to finish in one sitting.  This may be the beginning of the end for one of my favorite bands.  Do yourself a favor and pick up Light Grenades instead.

Seether - Holding onto Strings That Are Better Left to Fray - I consistently forget how much I like Seether.  With Strings they are successfully continuing their journey as the band Shaun Morgan believes Nirvana would have become if Cobain were still alive. 

John Mayer - Battle Studies - Here’s a collection of shallow songs from the same guy that wrote “Stop This Train”, “Daughters” and “Something’s Missing”.  Oh and Taylor Swift makes a pointless appearance.  John…pay attention…you are better than this!  

There you have it, 15 album reviews.  I feel so efficient.  I liked writing that, I may do that more.  I’m leaving you with my list of artists that just need to retire. 

They may have had some decent music in the past, but they have lost their relevance and the quality of their music has never been worse.  Its safe to say these bands have nuked the fridge:  Saliva, Simple Plan, Yellowcard, Trapt, Buckcherry, Sum 41, Good Charlotte, Weezer, Goo Goo Dolls, Rob Zombie Collective Soul and Alice in Chains. I almost put Korn on that list, but their first track with Skrillex shows promise.

There’s a Hat in Your Rabbit Hole

I’ve always been fascinated by New York City.  So much so that recently I’ve been studying the boroughs, the layout of the city, its landmarks and history (specifically the early 1900’s).  Nearly every picture I’ve come across between 1900 and 1935, has a large amount of people wearing hats.  Yes, this blog is about a hat, stick with me here I promise you its worth it. A lot of times the hats worn in these images are derbies (or bowler hats) like this:

While the topic of why men don’t wear classy hats anymore is a discussion for another day, we’ll focus on my story. I was intrigued by that style hat and I decided to read up on them. I found this info on Wikipedia, “Now, the hat (derby) is rarely seen on urban professionals, but vintage hats are occasionally worn by members of youth subcultures.”  I’m not nearly cool enough to be considered part of a subculture, but that got me thinking about how one would procure a vintage derby.  Off to Ebay I went!

On Ebay, the world’s marketplace for useless and often vintage crap, and I came across this:



This hat’s place in time is unknown but it is clearly old.  The other pics in the auction and the title say the brand name is “Truly Warner”.  Not being able to stop there, I Googled Truly Warner.  What I found there was fascinating.  

I was expecting a huge corporate website possibly with a storefront, a selection of hats or even a just directions to a boutique store.  Weirdly enough, there was none of that.  There was absolutely no evidence that Truly Warner still exists and very little evidence that it ever did.  

What I DID find was much more interesting.  Apparently the NY Times has archived their old articles dating back to at least 1922.  Below are two related articles I found regarding an altercation at a Truly Warner store.   

Eighty Nine years ago, at the opening of a new hat store with the same name printed on the inside of the that guy’s ebay hat, there was a “Throng” of people a outside pushing so hard on the window that it broke.  The story was apparently important enough to make the paper, twice.  The record of this tiny incident is now immortalized on the internet, a medium that wasn’t even dreamed of when Thomas Connolly’s side was treated for its injuries.  

Probably every person refereed to in both these articles are dead and most likely I’m the first person to ever access and read these basically useless archives.  I find it beyond cool that these archives exist, but maybe I’m just a nerd. Let’s get back to the hat.

Sure it may have been the free cigars and/or punch, but can you imagine a situation today where that many people would show up for a hat store? Black Friday sales get pretty hectic these days and people are always getting injured or killed, but not over a cigar and a hat. 

How nice were these hats?  Should I grab this guys ebay hat now that I possibly know its history? Hell, its only $20! Would I even look good in a potentially 90 year old derby?  Being able to tell this story everytime I wore it would make it worth both the $20 and the ridicule that comes with wearing a bowler hat in 2011.

The internet has a great way of driving this strange rabbit hole-like behavior in me. Did you know that the approximate location that originally housed Truly Warner’s hat store in Manhattan is now a Sephora.

I’m not familiar with Sephora, but they sell makeup and hair accessories. Their website doesn’t show any…but I wonder if they sell hats.  I hope they know not to offer free cigars to their customers, for fear of possible throngs breaking their glass. Someone should tell them. 

The weirdest thing here was that what drove me to do all of this was my love of early 20th century New York.  The internet then sent me around in a circle and dropped me back off in EARLY 20TH CENTURY NEW YORK!

To think, I was just looking at hats.  

Not Quite a Parody

I was listening to a random bunch of tunes today on my Zune and a song came up that baffled me. I know 90% of the music on my player but this song wasn’t immediately recognizable. It sounded like Weird Al (which I have a lot of) parodying a Snow Patrol or Green Day song. As the song played I didn’t hear anything funny and I started to recognize the song. I was even kinda singing along.

Determined to figure it out who it was I refused to look at the player. The more I listened, the more the vocals sounded like Weird Al. I had completely ruled out the possibility or it being Yankovic because the song wasn’t funny…at all.

I started searching my brain for who it might be. Could it have been a radio hit at some point and I just don’t remember the band? Was it a one off song by a nobody that I picked up somewhere? Was just so similar to other songs that I just thought I knew it, when in fact I had never heard it?

I was perplexed. Finally admitting defeat, I looked at my Zune to see who it was. It turns out it was “Fix You” by The Offspring from their most recent album Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace. You listen to it and tell me it doesn’t sound like Weird Al doing a ballad!

That Just Happened

I know I’m getting older, but by no means is 28 “old”.  I should still be experiencing things that are exciting, but recently I realized that there are certain events that will never have the same luster they used to.  Sure, new experiences are always happening and there’s a level of excitement that comes with each, my past experiences have broken certain events for me.  The most egregious violator of this is New Year’s Eve.  I was 17 when the year 2000 hit.  It was a new decade, century, and millennium.  That type of thing happens less than once in a lifetime. 

Since the year 2000, all New Year’s Eves have seemed silly and pointless.  Its just the day in which you have to re-train your hand to write 11 instead of 10.  New Year’s has turned into the St. Patrick’s Day of December.  Its just a reason to get drunk and with the rise of adult responsibilities, for me, its barely even that.  It will never feel important again and that kinda sucks.

Another recent happening that has ruined something for me is Super Bowl XLIV.  Yes, the one that the Saints won.  Shortly after seeing the victory, it dawned on me that the I will never be as excited about another Super Bowl as a I was for number XLIV.  The feeling of euphoria that came from my team winning their first Super Bowl will never be matched in the NFL again.  Sure, the Saints might with another, but it will never be the same.  In the unlikely event that I actually attend a Super Bowl, then that excitement might be reached again, but is it worth the price of the tickets to seek out that feeling?

Again with sports, I was watching “Wildcard Wednesday” this week and the tension, heartbreak, and excitement of that night, will probably never be duplicated.  I don’t want to say Baseball is boring, but compared to that night, it usually is.  Wednesday hasn’t spoiled my experience with the sport, but I have to acknowledge that I will probably never be that high on Baseball ever again. 

These revelations keep happening with more and more things.  I will never have another solid care free Rock Band party, because of the success of past parties and my expectations of future parties, not to mention the scarcity of people that even still care.  Don’t even get me started on my feelings toward Christmas presents. 

Media is not immune to this either.  Duplicating the feelings I had the first time I watched movies like The Dark Knight, Forrest Gump or Back to the Future will probably never happen again.  I’ve said this before, but Its kind depressing to know that I will never have another Zelda experience like A Link to the Past or Ocarina of Time.  I went to E3 2 years ago, and would love to do it again, but I’m scared that I would be disappointed the second time around.

Going forward, I wonder if there’s a way to prevent things like this from happening.  I guess one way is to actively avoid happiness or more specifically, avoid having a defining moment in anything I experience.  If I go to a Baseball game, don’t let it be a playoff game.  If I go to a concert, don’t get backstage passes.  Make all of my vacations distinctly different, so I’m not disappointed by repeat visits.   

All experiences must hover around mediocre.  Maybe that’s why people are quick to point out things that are wrong or broken, even in the happiest situations.  It could be a way to ground themselves. I don’t want to live a life of mediocrity, and I don’t want my experiences to be muted.  How do I better manage my over active subconscious and why does this crap worry me? 

If something is awesome, let it stay that way and don’t try to duplicate the feeling.  Not many things are more disappointing than shattered expectations and to avoid having them shattered you must properly manage them.  Fond memories are good, but the cynic in me knows that no matter how rose colored the view of the past may be, in actuality there is no way it was as great as I remember it. 

I don’t want this blog to turn into a “now that I have a kid, this is what I’m gonna do” blog (even though that’s how at least two of the posts have turned out), and I could take this monolog into a whole different direction if I wanted to go that route.  I would rather this time just focus on me.  Each experience sets the tone for future experiences and the expectation management of these has almost become as big of a cognitive journey as actually doing the things I experience. 

That last sentence might have just blown my mind.  Call it being self aware, call it vaguely intellectual, call it being paranoid, call it a precursor to my imminent institutionalization, or just call me a jack-ass, but that’s what my mind churns on and I don’t know if it’s a good thing.